Trusting Your Inner Architect
Written by Kristin Adamski
It’s that time of year again. Everywhere I turn, every conversation I join or overhear, there’s the same incredulous buzz: “How is it December already?”
It came pretty sudden – New York was facing later summer conditions until mid-November. So, yeah, that’s abrupt.
And yet, it is the natural cycle of emotions for me: as Christmas edges closer, the season's sentiments grow louder. On one side, there’s a pull toward indulgence and relaxation—a longing to wind down and savor the moments. On the other, the frantic countdown begins, with too many to-dos and too few days to fit them in. Amid this push and pull, one question seems to surface again and again ”Are you going home for the Holidays?"
It’s a question that seems simple on the surface but carries SO many layers of complexity. The definition of home is deeply individual, varying wildly from person to person. It’s not just about a location—it’s about feelings, memories, and expectations connected to places, people and experiences.
This year, I find myself wanting to unpack that big question. What makes a place feel like home? What qualities does "home" hold? And perhaps the biggest question of all: how do my expectations of home align with my reality?
For mothers, this question becomes even more complicated and personal. Motherhood often feels like a journey of leaving one "home" and learning to construct another. It’s not just about physical spaces but emotional ones, a sense of safety and peace that can endure the inevitable chaos.
This year my aim is to deepen my study in architecture and maybe inspire you to do the same.
Let’s start with the foundation–the so called “digging in the dirt.”
Becoming a mother can feel like moving to an entirely new country. Suddenly, you're in a foreign land where no one speaks your language, the customs are strange, and the map you thought you had turns out to be useless.
Each stage of motherhood feels like moving to a different "home":
The Tiny Apartment with a Shower in the Kitchen
You begin with confidence; certain you have all the answers. But the walls are tight, and the reality of sleepless nights and endless diapers soon makes you realize there’s no space for uncertainty—or yourself. Every decision feels monumental.The Two-Bedroom with a Little More Risk
You start expanding—taking on more responsibilities, venturing into new routines, and making room for growth. The mental load begins to creep in, but you're not quite aware of it yet. You juggle without fully understanding the cost of all those spinning plates.The Fancy Condo with roughly 12,589 Neighbors
The world around you gets louder. Opinions flood in from every direction: friends, family, parenting blogs, strangers at the park. You’re lucky to have a playroom & gym but while you’re too busy to use the latter, the playroom is a cacophony of motherhood noise… And then this mounting pile of expectations. You feel crowded, even in this "luxurious" space.The House in the Suburbs with No Fence and a Big Yard
This stage offers freedom but also an overwhelming sense of exposure. The big yard comes with risks: what if the neighbors judge you? What if your child wanders too far? You’re no longer contained by walls but now face the endless possibilities and fears of open spaces.
Becoming Your Own Architect
With each transition, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing your sense of home. But what if, instead of searching for the perfect external environment, you started building one within yourself? Becoming your own architect allows you to design a space that is calming, resilient, and uniquely yours—a place that cannot be taken down by external forces.
1. Start with an Open Foundation
Your internal home should be built on openness: to change, to uncertainty, to imperfection. Motherhood teaches us that nothing is static, and embracing that truth creates a flexible foundation that can withstand life’s storms.
2. Choose Calming Materials
Think of your inner space as a sanctuary of natural, grounding materials. Practice mindfulness to create an atmosphere of stillness and clarity. Like fluttering curtains in a gentle breeze, allow your emotions to flow freely without judgment.
3. Design for Connection and Freedom
Build your home to be welcoming and inclusive, open to others yet sturdy enough to protect your peace. Trust your instincts to know when to let people in and when to set boundaries.
4. Decorate with Compassion
Every room in your internal home should radiate warmth and kindness—toward yourself and others. Accept the messiness of life, the broken pieces, and the unfinished edges. Compassion is what turns a house into a home.
5. Focus on the Process, Not Perfection
Remember, building a home—whether physical or emotional—is a lifetime project. You won’t finish it overnight, and that’s okay. Each day, return to the construction site with patience. Trust that every moment of presence, every act of kindness toward yourself, lays another brick in your sanctuary.
Trusting Your Inner Architect
What if I told you that you already have the blueprint for the perfect inner home? The repetitive act of being present—without judgment, with compassion and kindness—is your ultimate architectural drawing. With practice, you can build a space that feels safe, beautiful, and uniquely yours.
This year, let your inner architect take the lead. Use the season as a time to reflect on what home truly means for you—not just as a mother but as a human being.
What do you want your internal home to feel like?
What qualities—comfort, joy, resilience—can you foster within yourself?
How can you create a space that welcomes others but never compromises your foundation?
The Home We Carry
The beauty of building your inner home is that it goes with you, no matter where life takes you. Whether you’re navigating the chaos of early motherhood, the opinions of a crowded world, or the wide-open spaces of new possibilities, your home is your constant.
So, this year, don’t just focus on decorating your external space. Give yourself the gift of tending to your internal one. Visit your construction site, trust your intuition, and take it one room at a time.
Because the most beautiful home isn’t made of bricks or beams. It’s made of love, patience, and the quiet confidence that you are enough.
Happy holidays or just a happy December to the architects of life—may your homes, both inner and outer, always be filled with peace.
What does your inner home look like? Share your thoughts and join the conversation—we’re all building together.
With love,
Kristin Adamski
ABOUT KRISTEN
Kristin Adamski is an international citizen rooted in the vibrant energy of New York City, where she navigates life as a mom of two, a creative thinker, and a seeker of answers to life’s deep philosophical questions. As a multifaceted professional, Kristin weaves her passions for coaching, design, yoga, and mindfulness into her work, guiding individuals toward discovering their “home”; within. She believes that creating harmony between external environments and internal wellbeing is essential—each influencing and enhancing the other in profound ways. With a keen eye for curating physical spaces that inspire calm and joy, Kristin helps others build foundations for happiness and resilience, both in their surroundings and in their hearts. Whether through a mindfulness practice, a transformative coaching session, or a beautifully designed room, her mission is to help people feel grounded, empowered, and fully at home with themselves.